BALANCING ACT

“Get skillful and godly Wisdom, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation)…” Proverbs 4:5 (The Amplified Bible)

The Shelby County Sheriff Posse Rodeo was a big deal every year in my hometown of Center.  There was a well-orchestrated parade and the whole nine yards.  I remember as a very small child watching and hearing those snorting, stomping bucking broncs caged in and waiting on the edges of the arena.  A cowboy would climb on, and when they opened those chutes, a horse came ripping out kicking and convulsing and maniacally throwing himself into every manner of contortion trying to throw off his rider who was attempting to break him, to hold him down, and cramp his style.  This bucking bronc is perfect symbol of  me as a child.

Of course, I didn’t see myself that way at the time.  I didn’t consider that I was some wild, gyrating terror whom necessary riders were attempting and needing to tame.  I didn’t see myself as malicious or rebellious in any way.  I just thought I was having fun.  

Most who hear of my childhood antics register a shock upon their faces.  They don’t think that kind of a childhood is in character with the school-teaching, devotional-writing adult who would be married for 40 years to a quiet, mild-mannered fellow like my Larry. I suppose that’s because since those days I have been tamed considerably. But the truth is that there’s still some of that kid in here, doing some occasional snortin’ and floppin’ around inside the chute.  

We are told in Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians that we are to be “transformed into the image of Christ from one degree of glory to the next,” so as adults we must certainly put off the childish parts of our nature that might hinder that kind of growth.  But then, Jesus Himself warns us against losing certain aspects of a childlike nature. He goes so far as to say that unless we come as a child, we can “in no wise enter the kingdom of Heaven.” 

Hmmm.  What to do? How can we manage such a crucial balancing act?

I tried to summarize in poetry my struggle with this.

Ultimate Dilemma

I want to be pretty; I want to be plain.

I want to be a barefoot dancer in the rain.

But then again, on the other hand,

I’d rather be practical and wear brown wool,

Something that will make me invisible.

I want to write poetry, be romantic and lacy;

I want to break bottles, break rules and go crazy.

I want to be vivid: I want to be pale.

I wish to inspire; I’d like to regale.

I’d like to be nameless with a face to forget

Like a chameleon that blends in and graciously fits.

But oh, this desire to be a rebel in red—

Blazing through pinks with a chicken on her head!

Can you relate?  Do you look back at the kid version of yourself and compare it to the adult model?  If you haven’t lately, I really recommend that to you. Some of the weightiest and most enduring influences upon us emanate from some of the least predictable sources.  The message is often camouflaged by the blur of activity we are involved in; without good guidance, we can’t make sense of the seeming randomness of all that is happening.  We can’t find any logical pattern or common thread or recognize the key individuals who are placed strategically in our paths, especially in our youth, and thus, we will likely miss the big picture at the time.  But we are blessed to get more chances to recognize these messages as we travel concentrically past them by way of memory. Just because we missed the lessons of our youth when we were youthful doesn’t mean we can’t glean wisdom from them later and still benefit from them and be changed by them in significant ways.

Dedicate some time to tracing the steps that took you from there to here. Then ask yourself if you are appropriately grateful for the people and events that took you from there to here.  We can learn much about ourselves way down there as a child that viewed from these heights might make a lot more sense and give us a needed change of attitude and even a crucial change of heart.